You Had My Trust… and You Blew It

COVID was little more than a big, fat, criminal test of human conformity, gullibility, and susceptibility.

If you haven’t yet realized that COVID was little more than a big, fat, criminal test of human conformity, gullibility, and susceptibility–, no offense but* you might want to schedule an EEG to make sure your cerebral cylinders are actually still firing. 

*Don’t you love no offense but? It’s the Ricky Gervais of phrases; basically the equivalent of broadcasting, “Buckle up because I’m one hundred percent about to offend you.” If you have kids, you’re likely familiar with this popular insult set-up. “No offense Mom, but your breath smells like dog poo.” Thanks, kid! Brutal honesty is always the best policy! 

Will people stay home just because we tell them to? Will they wrap their faces in scraps of useless, porous, filthy fabric, stand obediently on arbitrarily-spaced floor stickers, play follow-the-arrows in grocery stores, eagerly agree to not gather with their friends and families for holidays and birthdays and weddings and funerals, and believe us that a parade of newer, pricier, nearly-identical versions of cheap, time-tested generic medicines are in fact superior? Will they inject untested, unproven, mystery elixirs into their bodies, over and over and sometimes over again, on command and in exchange for a donut or some curly fries? Most importantly of all, will they vehemently defend all of these asinine activities when their free-thinking friends call them cuckoo for complying? 

Seventy-one percent of the planet: We will do all of this - and more!
Smug global cabal: Sweet! We thought you would! 

Now that the majority of humanity has passed failed their little test, “new “vaccines” are being developed and deployed at, well, warp speed. Testing, schmesting! Who wants to be the first to let us stab you with this probably worthless, possibly toxic, and potentially lethal pharmaceutical prototype we whipped up this morning? Don’t forget to bring your kids and pregnant friends! Oh, and you can’t see The Killers in concert, eat anywhere in New York City, or feed your family if you don’t. But totally up to you! We certainly can’t force you or anything. 

If you failed the test, you may want to start studying up. A quick scan of recent corporate controlled media headlines features breathless announcements of new or forthcoming vaccines for malaria, monkeypox, dengue, cancer, norovirus, Epstein-Barr, RSV, and any strain of a virus. You know what’s funny? Five years ago, if I’d gone in for a routine physical and my doctor enthusiastically recommended some new “safe and effective” cancer vaccine, I shudder to admit I’d probably have rolled up my sleeve on the spot. I wouldn’t have asked about safety studies or requested a review of the package insert—the one I didn’t know existed because it’s not like I spend my days opening vaccine vials or anything—or even wondered aloud about my personal risk factors or the drug’s potential side-effects. Cancer, bad. Vaccines, good. Do I get a lollipop with that?

As much as I want to go back in time and punch my naïve former self in the face, if I was pressed to name the pandemic’s most magnificent accidental silver lining, it’s that it lifted that veil of willful ignorance and blind obedience—and there’s no putting that thing back. Ever. 

Memo to our public health agencies and the physicians who shill for them: You had my trust! You could have slowly, subtly, methodically recommended this string of bewitching injectables or that bowl of Bill Gates’s latest magical vaccine-infused lettuce blend and in all likelihood, I’d have bought in without a lot of pushback. Why wouldn’t I? I had no reason not to trust you (that I was aware of then; now I know better, thanks to you!). But you got greedy. You got sloppy. You played poker at the chess table, and instead of displaying the famous combination of strategy and patience that rewards skilled chess players with an inevitable checkmate, you rolled the dice for a chance to hit the mega-jackpot. And do you know what happened? You lost. Big time. 

Even though the word “pandemic” was far from a vocabulary staple prior to 2020, its clawed its way into the vernacular and shows no sign of retreat. From cholera to cancer, bird flu to Disease X, our puppet masters are promising another pandemic sooner than later. Their answer, of course, will be quickly developed, entirely unstudied, scientifically unsubstantiated (yet somehow guaranteed to be christened safe-and-effective) vaccines. I don’t know about you, but I’d sell my house and live in a yurt in the woods before I’d agree to receive another inoculation against anything as long as I live.